Wednesday, February 15, 2012

...respect a family in mourning (RIP Whitney Houston)


 © 2012. Erin’s Echo. All rights reserved.
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Have you ever lost a loved one? Was it difficult to come to terms that you would not see this person at family functions again? To talk with him/her on the phone again? Introduce them to your children? Does it hurt? Do you miss them? 

Just because a person doesn’t live the life we live or want them to live does not make their life less valid. Everyone knows someone, a family member even if not self, who drinks or uses drugs…that does not make them unworthy of love, caring, and protection. We live in a time when the world is cruel and heartless.  Why this blog, Erin?

Before Whitney’s death, my family and I were discussing the birth control situation that President Obama was speaking of making available to all. I will blog on that in the near future; therefore, I won't elaborate on it at this time. I was telling my daughter about Whitney Houston's song written by Babyface and LA…it is called “Miracle”. I was telling her that people may think it is about a love lost or love gone wrong, but it is about abortion. Then I went into how in Bible Study we talked about the Bible and how God had the writers write their faults…their sins to show that He is a forgiving God and He draws to us when we draw to Him. He leaves us not, we leave Him. Still, He loves and cares for ALL of us…He is GOD!

The world has lost a musical legend…her loved ones has lost a wife, daughter, mother, cousin, and friend! 

As I tried to explain to my children the depths of ignorance, I had to break it down in “teenage” speak, yet, still I ask, "how do you break down ignorance to an ignorant person" (I do NOT mean my daughters here at all)? First, they need to listen; secondly comprehend and understand. Most ignorant people are notoriously ignorant…some are just everyday sinners called “gossipers”. 

Economics teach us about producers, consumers, goods, & services...when we go out to dine, be entertained, or just buy music...we buy a good for a service...someone produced it we are the consumers.

Whitney's funeral is private...thank you Cissy Houston and thank you God! We, as her fans and the people who poked fun at her life are not entitled to her farewell. We don’t deserve it. That is family time…personal time…time for those who unconditionally loved her to celebrate her life. They couldn’t care less about her legacy! 

People need to put self in other shoes...I asked my childs..."Think, if it was me would you want folks blaming your daddy? We had 18 years together...shared a love that’s irreplaceable...good and bad...he doesn’t wish death upon me nor I him!! Bobby lovesssss Whitney like no other! Would you want people talking about Erin cursed badly...she took lots of meds?...you know I'm sick and you know what others don't about my illness so they will speculate but that doesn't make it RIGHT! People talk! Would you prefer that people allow you time to mourn...time to grieve...time to celebrate a life they didn't know or continue to damn me and my image upon my death? Would you not prefer they respect the fact that I am a person loved by my family…my mother, my daughters, and they, the people, respect not only death, but the ones left behind to deal with the shock that their loved one’s existence in this life is no more?” 

All we know...WE know is her music...we don't know Whitney...we are NOT grieving her!!! We didn't think about her upon her death...all society cared about was how she died...what happened? If it was not murder, that doesn't matter because the end conclusion remains the same....regardless if it was a tragic accident, an overdose, an illness, natural causes…Whitney Houston...International Icon is dead...her music lives on to her fans...WHITNEY HOUSTON...once wife to Bobby Brown, mother to Bobbi Kristina, stepmother, daughter to Cissy Houston, cousin to Dionne Warwick and many others, and friend upon friends to many is dead...her memories live on but that doesn’t make it easier for her family! 

Whitney Houston 1963-2012
Stop repeating what ignorant people say...it doesn't make you sound intelligent...just more ignorant...so when in doubt....shhhhhhhhhhhh…and give others the respect they rightfully deserve in a time of mourning and ALWAYS!

From my family, we offer sincere condolences to the family and friends of Ms. Whitney Houston! Humbled and heartfelt prayers are with Cissy, Bobbi Kris, and Bobby as this difficult time to deal with is just beginning! 

 Sleep, Whitney, you are now at rest, you hear not what the people say. You are unconscious to bad things and evil words, but you are embraced in love.




 
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

...when you know who you are


©2012. Erin’s Echo & Erin Adams-Phillips. All rights reserved. 

 “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes,” ~Sally Fields ~

I SEE ME...I KNOW WHO I AM!
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Who do you see? Why do you see it? Is your own reflection of you guided by other’s thoughts and opinions? Do you try to transform yourself into the image they want you to be? Do you believe the things they say about you…good or bad? Do you try to live up to their “standards” of you? If they belittle you…demean you…do you invite their words into your heart…accepting their critique of you? When you judge yourself through the eyes of others, you allow them to kidnap you spirit and you forget who you are…slowly, you neglect yourself of the things you rightfully deserve!

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection." ~Buddha~

If you stand before a mirror and you see what others have labeled you, you are ridiculing yourself. We, as a people, spend too much time putting down others or equally building up others and neglect showering oneself with that same LOVE, RESPECT, AFFECTION, & ATTENTION! What I have learned in life is that the way you ALLOW others to treat you is how they WILL treat you. You must set standards…you must set boundaries…you MUST ACT on those to demand the respect that you deserve. People don’t have to like you, but they WILL RESPECT the trueness of the WHO you are. 

“Never defend a lie.” ~Lula Powell Adams-Morris~

I grew up with the teaching that you “never defend a lie”. I can remember from my youth to adulthood people would say, “Dee, if you don’t defend yourself, who will?” My response would always be, “It is not my business what other people think of me”. 


The reason I responded that way was because I never knew why I was taught to never defend a lie. I only just grasped the concept of that teaching about 5 months while attending Sunday service and the Brother spoke about how Jesus did not need to defend the defamation of his character nor person. Jesus knew who he was…his apostles knew who he was…his followers knew who he was, but most importantly, his Father, God, knew who he was. Jesus lived his life just as he intended to; to do the will of his Father. He did not care what others thought nor said about him… Jesus prayed for them even asking for their forgiveness (Luke 23:34). 

Though I did not understand my response until my latter adulthood, it holds true and it is so relevant for people who are not self-knowing and self-aware. If a person does not know who they are, they will live every day of their life aspiring to be what someone else wants them to be. This is wasted time...and time is something we cannot get back!
 
Trying to defend a lie opens the revolving door for people to tell another lie. Lies are contagious. You tell one, you tell two…so you may find yourself lying trying to defend something that was NEVER true. 
 
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." ~Harvey Fienstein~

When I say never defend a lie, I am not suggesting that you be bullied into silence. I am simply proposing another way to look at things…live your life as you deserve it for you. Do not own anyone else’s faults, sins, and shortcomings. Do not play victim to your past…your life’s circumstances do not define the who you are. Because someone says something negative of you, does not mean you have to receive it…

WHEN YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE BRIGHT IS THE LIGHT
When you know who you are, you carry less burdens…you feel more peace of mind…you speak with more confidence…you walk with pride! When you know who you are, you don’t second guess your existence…you take responsibility for your actions…you lead by example! When you know who you are, you command respect and your walk demands that others take notice of the who you are…you hold true to you…so you hold true to others, when you know who you are…you maintain the determination to always walk in your integrity! 

I make my own rules…Remain faithful to my integrity…Boy, I am no fool-fool…Society is no DEFINITION ME…Focus your eyes on the life I live…Your ears to the words I speak…Feel the love I give…Watch the goals I seek…Pay strict attention to my way of loving…Be down with me or set me free…Know that society nor the “everybody”…Can DEFINITION ME! ~from Definition Me by Erin Adams-Phillips~

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