...thank you for watering my roses

© 2009, 2011 by Erin Adams-Phillips, Erin’s Echo. All rights reserved.

People are often intrigued when I state there is a difference between nude and naked; self-image and self-esteem. Well, I am no ordinary person. One of my all-time favorite quotes is, “You were born an original; don’t die a copy” ~John Mason~.

I have always and I will always be my own unique person, living in my own little unique world, which is just a spot in a world normalized by society. Still, I must water my roses. My hope is that I, too, water your roses as you in turn water my own.

Nude versus naked

I am a very spiritual person ~note I did not say religious~. Though many of the things I write will have a biblical or spiritual sense, I am not being bias. As you read with me, remember, you are in that spot…my own little unique world. My thoughts. My whispers. My cries.

Nudity is a form of art. It was originated by God. It is meant to be seen without embarrassment or shame. In a moment’s instance, a husband can make a wife or a wife can make a husband go from being nude to naked. How so?

In the Garden of Eden, Adam & Eve were both nude before they ate from the tree of knowledge of good & bad. Genesis 3:10, 11 states how Adam hid himself from God because he was “naked”. Naked equates to shame or not wanting another to see your uncovered body. If you were at your home in the shower, would you not be uncomfortable if a stranger entered your home and saw you in the shower? You will quickly cover yourself and chances are you will not feel secure.

When you are nude, you do not feel the shame nor embarrassment. A spouse may tell the other spouse how beautiful they are in their nudity. There is no shame about size, color, or scars. They make the other feel handsomely beautiful & adorably beautiful in their nudity. Isn’t that a great feeling? To be able to embrace the nude self…without fear …to feel secure in it? Loved in it?

Self-image versus self-esteem

Among women mostly, we are quick to say, “She has low self-esteem”. A woman and man can have great self-esteem and poor self-image. What is the difference in Erin’s world? Self-image is the visual self whereas self-esteem is the mental self. One can be very aware that they are attractive, yet still detest parts of their body (self-image). They may not like their nose, their hair, the size of their breasts, their height…any physical image of self is a lack of loving one’s self-image.

You can see the damage to my lip here

Who is better to use as an example than myself…I have average self-esteem. I am not conceited. I am not arrogant. I like to describe my physical features as a “gowitable” person. I do not think I am pretty. I do not think I am ugly. I’m average. Still, as a 9-month old child, an accident left me with a forever scar on my already full lips. In 2006, a car accident burst that same lip causing damage that could not be repaired even by cosmetic surgery. After three consults, the surgeons stated, “It would only make it worse”.  I still struggle with those scars. I refuse to wear colored lipstick. My lips don’t need any help getting attention. That is a lack of loving my self-image.

A woman who has breast cancer and must have a mastectomy may have great self-esteem, but battle self-image. She may feel less than because she does not have her original breasts. The scars may bother her and she may be misconstrued as having low or no self-esteem.

The average height of a male is approximately 5 feet 9 inches tall. Therefore, a male that stands 5 feet 4 inches may feel intimidated by women who are 5’6 or taller. They may have average self-esteem, yet have a lack of love for their self-image.

Bridging the gap

How does the two tie together? When a person looks at you and sees your heart, nothing physical matters. I teach my kids (I even went as far as writing a song for them entitled, “Beauty Comes from Within”), that it doesn’t matter what you look like…it doesn’t matter if a person says “you are so cute!” It doesn’t matter if a person says, “your body is banging!”. It doesn’t matter if a person says, “you have the prettiest hair!”. All of that is irrelevant if that person does not see your heart. Your heart captures the essence of your beauty.

My husband & me

So, who cares if I don’t like the scar on my lip? I am loved by a man who loves my lips, scars and all. He traces them with his fingers. Smiles when I talk. He makes me feel beautiful. I embrace my nudity in his presence, because I know that he sees my heart; my physical characteristics are only added bonuses.

People, remember that your brain serves as the birthing & resting place of your thoughts. Compare them to a garden. If you plant roses in a garden, you grow roses. If you plant NOTHING, you grow WEEDS. Weeds are troublesome & unsightly. Thank you for watering my roses.

Musical Inspiration for today:

Musiq Soulchild- Don't Change

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Musical Inspiration for today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzBD8t0sB-4&ob=av2n