...the top 5 mistakes females make trying to pursue a relationship

2012©Erin’s Echo. Erin Adams-Phillips. All rights reserved. 

"Correct me if I am wrong; “Think like man act like a lady”, or whatever the title, was written by a man; right? So why are women embracing it? Once again, you are letting the male species think for you like you don't have a brain ~granted all of us have one...some just elect not to use it~. My advice to you is "think for yourdamnself".

I am not the kind of person that does “labels”. In fact, I am totally annoyed by people who allow society to brainwash them into the dysfunctional norms of our era. I am totally allergic to people who cannot think for themselves. You know, that person that sits and tells others the facts ~myths~ of life, and the small-minded person that believes them (not that is not what I am doing ~roll eyes~)? People spend so much time trying to figure out and control someone else’s life, they ruin their own. 

Women fail to realize that we are our own worst enemy and our biggest threat. We put ourselves in positions that open the door to misusings and wrongdoings. Then we damn love and label all men as dogs. Truth is, most often than not, you knew what you were getting into, but wanted a man so badly, you were willing to compromise…even SELF!

Allow me, along with quotes from Nire Smada, to echo the top five (5) mistakes I feel women make trying to get a man. 

“...he was a nothing, a nobody…you made him a something a somebody by asking her was she crushing him…putting your ego out on the limb…knowing he wouldn’t treat you like a gem; so you just invited her to a game of mouse come cat…you aroused her curiosity; girl, why you do that?” ~~from Nire Smada...Sistergurl Seekarets~

MISTAKE # 5— BEFRIENDING THE ENEMY

Making that all-famous attempt to befriend the female you think or know like the man you are trying to land. This is a result of mistake # 4. You may as well invite her to join you in a love triangle. While you are trying to befriend her to see what is going on between her and the man, she has already mapped out a plan to make you look plum stupid and use your own game against you…eventually she wins. Learn the arts of leave well-enough alone and shut-the-hell up. No marriage or relationship is perfect, but we are in control of the shit…if you are gonna stay…shut up! I learned this shit the hard way…tell a trick your problem…she will try to treat your man…keep that shit between you and God…and keep it moving because tricks will follow up on unlimited opportunities! Stop inviting people into a world that doesn’t even belong to you. If the man liked you, you just lost something most men need in a woman…RESPECT!

“Someone don lied to you, gurl…keep your freen close and your enemies closer! Hell, how you know who yo freen? Why you out trying to befreen yo enemy, yo freen befreening yo man! Wid freens like dat, you showl don’t need no enemies!” ~~from Nire Smada...Sistergurl Seekarets~

MISTAKE #4—ASSUMING EVERY FEMALE WANT OLE DUDE

Men and women can be platonic friends. There are some women who have life-long, lasting relationships with a male that are strictly platonic and/or business. A woman can have ZERO interest in a man on an intimate level and you can quickly make her tune into him by asking her if she likes him! NEVER DO THAT! Women are catty creatures. You cannot control what anyone does but YOU. Never confront a female about a man—even if he is your husband! Know your role…know your responsibilities and perform the duties granted unto your role.

“I tried to tell hurr…really, I did. I tried to warn hurr! Menfolk have a bond that most women will never have…it is called a dicktatorship. Be all kindly with his friend trying to get his attention only makes him laugh at you while him and ole boy toasting to how you were too simple for their Kingdom” ~~from Nire Smada...Sistergurl Seekarets~

MISTAKE #3—THE ATTENTION CRY

Don't mind me; I'm just the instigator

I hate to see women do this…as much I try to stay brave and strong, I end up crying. I hurt for them. He hasn’t called. He’s ignoring you. He’s showing someone else some attention…granted it could be innocent…but you suffer from attentionitis. You NEED him to notice you, so you do what only your simple mind knows to do, move on to his friend. Aw, Sweetie…make a U-Turn quick! I don’t care if his friend seems sincere and nice…I don’t care how hot he tells you you are…I don’t care if he tells you his buddy doesn’t deserve a woman of your character…you best believe he on some GAME and can’t wait to sing your praise-NOTs to his boy. Now what’chu gonna do? Call his daddy? I’m just asking…don’t get mad at me…I’m just an instigator for the female species. You have a better chance of blowing up balloons, sticking them in your ear, put on some high waters pants, a dashiki, and jump up and down while yelling, “Look at me; look at me!”

“She quoted me the myth that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach or good sex! ~bwahhaaaaaa~ who da hell told her that? Some old person that’s been divorced since they were 20 and now hitting 75? She should have asked, “Mam, you muss can’t cook or hunch? Wat happened?”  ~from Nire Smada...Sistergurl Seekarets~

MISTAKE #2—LOSING SELF-IDENTITY

Truth is…the way to a man’s heart is to be YOU…be supportive…support their dreams even...if you don’t believe the damn dream can be a reality….chances are, maybe he doesn’t either…but if you don't provide him with positive, intellectual support and feedback, he will long for things that can disrupt your relationship/marriage (by things, I do mean communication and understanding in and for his dreams)…I tell you this…Good cooks can be found in every kitchen and good sex is on every block…don’t fool yourdamnselves into thinking, pushing him away when he needs to be loved is going to work or change him or make him want to pursue a lasting relationship/marriage with you! 

FINALLY, the number one mistake women make in a relationship or trying to land one:

“...she was married...happily...unhappily...don't matter...to her all that mattered was she was MARRIED and she would always HONOR her vows. I told her in 3 languages, "Sistergurl, when you married and you are stroking egos more than you are STROKING...it is way past time to flip from the back stroke to the free-style--I'm all about the Buttlerfly, Baby". Last I heard, she was side stroking...damn shame! ~from Nire Smada...Sistergurl Seekarets~

MISTAKE #1—BEING A SIMPLE UH-HUH GIRL

Being submissive is a beautiful thing. Sadly, many women don’t understand what being submissive entails. Men like to be challenged. If a man asks you, “Isn’t today beautiful, Baby?” and he knows you hate the heat and it is 150 degrees outside and he has his hands all over you…still you respond…ever so lie-ingly, “Yeah baby…beautiful day…I love it…I wish I could jump into the sun!” He is giggling at your ass! “Today was awful today at work! I’m quitting the job tomorrow, I deserve better! You with me baby?”… “I got you, Sweetie…I’m ride or die!”…smh

“WTH, you know I hate the heat! It is beautiful to be here…glad I’m here with you, but it is 150 degrees, too hot for you to be touching all over me” ~roll eyes~.  That can be said in a very loving way… and you may be lifted out of the heat into a cool air-conditioned home to make natural heat! If that fails, I bet you get a good laugh out of him while he stills tries to be Mr. Happy Hands…you got the lead now…run your ass in the house…he is going to follow you…trust me, he’s hot too! 

“With you on what? Quitting your job? SMH, Babe, you deserve better…it is a dead-end job. I hate to see you stressed out about it. I’m with you on doing better for YOU and for US. So, let’s map out a plan; okay? You go to work tomorrow and I know I don’t have to tell you this, but be the man that you are…never let anyone treat you any less than that! I will research some jobs in your field. Submit some resumes and together, we are going to overcome this tiny obstacle. You with me, Babe?” His reply will be a kiss on your submissive lips! Because if your ride or die, uh-huh self let that man quit his job and he can’t find another one and now yawl can’t pay the bills. You just rode stress to the 14^th power…and can’t afford to die!

Men need and want mental stimulation; if you can’t think for you, you can’t offer him any direction or guidance. The key to being a good mate is to be an effective communicator. ..knowing how to disagree in a respectful manner…setting your boundaries and sticking to them…being true to yourself! He will respect you for it…and if you are not his wife, you just may get a ring on that finger if that is what you so desire. Try to be the woman that compliments him...he should already be complete...if he isn't, you wasting your time anyway!

Am I right? Could be…could be not; but instead of thinking like a man and acting like a lady, I prefer to be who the hell I am…outspoken, opinionated, ERiginal…Erin! Echo that!

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