Thursday, April 26, 2012

…my greatest challenge (from A Sinner’s Soul)


A Sinner's Soul

"Embracing my WHO I AM"

©2012. Erin Adams-Phillips. Erin’s Echo. All rights reserved.

I can be pretty damn convincing if I must say so myself. I’m a forced to be reckoned with. I laugh because I know many people don’t know the meaning of that idiom; therefore, they will NOT get the symbolism of its verbiage in this paragraph. Confused? Confused not; it is fairly simple. We, as humans, spend so much time trying to convince other people who we are…who we are not…what we believe…what we believe not…what we fear…what we fear not…what we love…what we love not…that it becomes a phase…a game. Who are we really trying to convince; others or self?

I am no angel. I am no saint. I am an ordinary person living in an everyday world full of temptation and sin. I fall short. I fail. I hurt people. I hurt. I heal. I forget. I forgive…yet; my greatest challenge is forgiving myself! 

I have beliefs…really; I do. That is no joke. I believe in being loyal. Being loyal is essential for me…it is not a choice…I am either with you or I am not. Sunday through Saturday. No certain days of the week. No special days…no holidays. There is no in between with me. I like you or I do NOT! I love you or I do NOT! I care or I care NOT! I’m loyal or I’m your worst enemy. Point blank. Period. Once I am betrayed, I find it easier to forgive the betrayer than to forgive myself for allowing myself to feel…love…be a friend…a mentor…whatever position it may be…forgiving me is my greatest challenge.

How many of you can relate to this? We give more to others (time, money, attention, support) than we do to self. We treat strangers better than we do family and self. We allow others to take (money, time, dignity, pride) more than they refuse to give and at the end of the day, we try to humble ourselves and tell ourselves “it isn’t their fault”…we forgive them. We own their errors and we bring upon ourselves unnecessary conflict. Emotional distress. Second-guessing self. Taking on burdens that don’t belong to self! Contradiction or conflict? 

Revolution or revelation? All of the above? 

Complicated simplicity…painfully beautiful!

Why is it so easy to forgive others and not me? 

Why am I so hard on me? 

Does the lack of self-forgiving mean that I believe that there is no such thing as a mistake; that in any event, I am a willing participant and deserve whatever hurt…whatever harm…whatever treatment comes my way? No matter how rude the awakening…regardless how unpleasant the hurt may be; that I must learn from my faults and suffer... “I made my own bed”; right? 

Wrong! 

Absolutely, positively WRONG! It means I’m a sinner with a soul. A sinner with a conscious. A sinner with a heart. I’m destined to bring hurt upon myself. It is natural to set goals I will not accomplish. It is a human-conditioned thought that I can always be a better me. It is NATURAL. 

So why is it such a challenge to forgive myself if all of this is “natural”?

“Self forgiveness is the process of restoring your directive will and to understand how you participate in reality and what you allow reality to become due to your participation and the patterns you allow ~Bernard Poolman~

Self-forgiveness is a selfless act. It is the art of self-awareness…self-acceptance…self-love. It is very anti-egotistical. 

Really, Erin, just write it so everyone can understand it!

It is so hard for me to forgive myself because forgiving myself means that I must accept EVERYTHING about me…my past…my flaws…my strengths…my weaknesses. I must become emotionally intimate with myself…it is acknowledging all the things I do not want to be true in my life! It is a rare form of self-spiritual intimacy. 

Taking the good with the bad; self-revelation.  Accepting that what I do does not make me who I am, but who I am makes me abstain from things I should not do…in essence, self-forgiveness is cleaning the soul of a sinner or remaining selfish in a fool’s paradise. 

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