...life is a Battlefield

This will be the final entry I post from the Dedee Diaries.
 
life is a Battlefield from the Dedee Diaries © 2010. Erin Adams-Phillips. All rights reserved.

19 December 2010

Day Unknown~ I no longer count~

 …Another blessed day!

I've never been patient. I lost track of counting days in my diary after 6 Dec 2010. My born day. After seeing 37 years, I was just thankful and blessed to see another day. I am no Anne Frank. This is my diary! Come what might; come what may. I fear it not! I'm surrounded by love and greatness! I'm a sinner. I'm no Saint. I've never meet a Saint, but the sinners I know battle on the front row with me, helping me to hold my shield...and me theirs. Like a different, adult version of Red Rover. Send all your ailments over! Forget milk! We got God!

My light shines BRIGHTLY

I'm not fading away. My glow is just too bright for simple people to look at without a burst of confusion. My battle is not your battle. I don't want your pity. Sure, I get upset. I get angry. I'm not the WHO I used to be, but as I look in the mirror, I know that I am capable of making the WHO I am NOW 100% ~chuckles~ as if I would ever give anything less. I'm not made from the stuff my Mahm is made from...I am not wrapped in the skin of protectant like my Daddy. I'm made from this new stuff...I'm just glad I can mold it and bake it and make it strong. I don't know if I am a testimony or a repudiation. If you MUST, just take what you need from me, as I do from you, and use it to the best of your knowledge or lack thereof! I am a warrior. My rivals may be confused because as one day I appear weak and weary and they "think" they can claim victory over me, the next day, I'm rested and enlivened...all smiles. I took my prayer vitamins. Vitamin G!....and I can say....

                                       Another blessed day!

So, though you may not see my pain, it is there; however, my smile is like a band-aid...covers my wounds--shields my scars...as I continue daily to defy society's norms and raging storms of life!... Stop trying to figure it out! This is my life; not yours. Stay clueless, Dear Hearts...because you will go broke buying vowels before you understand me...you are just TOO simple to understand that life's storms never depart from me! It simply takes a vacation to wreck havoc on my mother, my siblings, my friends! Causing strong winds, ice in the dessert, and heated waves in the frozen waters of Alaska...seeking a vessel weaker than I...for it is tired from my fighting for what is rightfully mine! So, it is only fair to drown people I love in its burdensome funnel of envy...conquer...rest...plan...before it returns to the Battlefield of Dedee. Hmph...but I'm armored, I'm shielded...I smile to cover my wounds and prepare for battle! These storms of life may inflict pain upon my body, but they can't reach my heart...no, storms don't give up! I'm not expecting to see a white towel and I damn sure don't plan on raising one! I'm on the front line! My aim is good! My shield is God! 

                      Welcome to Dedee's Battlefield!"

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