Over two days ago, I was asked, “Dee, why do you hate Alabama?” I could not answer the question. I am the type of person that will always be honest with my readers, but most importantly, I will be and I AM honest with myself. I went back to read some of my rants on FB and it does read as if I hate Alabama; however, that is false. I love Alabama. I am Alabama born, raised, and bred. I live in Ohio, but I don’t have an Ohio accent and I do not try to fake one…my Southern drawl is evident and in effect. I wear shirts that read “Southern Belle” and “I Love the Dirty South” with an Alabama map; but to me that means nothing. My love for Alabama is in my heart!
What I detest about Alabama is the same thing I detest about Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, and Arizona. I do not like SUMMER. I detest being in the HEAT! Alabama has LONG, HOT summers. ~scoffs~ Sure, it is hot as hell in Cincinnati. Today has been a very uncomfortable 96 degrees that even the rain is afraid of; yet, the one thing I can count on is that I will not be able to wear shorts in November!
Many of you know I am ill. On top of all my other illnesses, I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis this year. In a moment of pain and weakness, I decided I would move home or closer to home. This illness can be very ugly and cruel to your body. No matter how many people I know with Sarcs, it is different now that I have the disease. Each time an attack hits me, I want my Mahm! Hey, I’m a big baby; what can I say? I visited home earlier this month to free my mind and weigh some important, life changing decisions. During my trip, I tried to fight an attack for two days. After attending my cousin’s homegoing, the heat and humidity was too much to bear and I had a really bad asthma attack...Yes, at my Mahm’s house…in the presence of my Mahm and my cousin.
My daughter gave me my treatments and pain meds; I cried myself to sleep. I can remember my Mahm talking to me, but I don’t know what she said. I woke up to an empty front room. My cousin was gone. Mahm came to check on me. I was still weak so she helped me to bed. I was so restless; up and down all night long. I don’t like people seeing me sick AT ALL! My Mahm was scared. She has never really seen SARCS up close and personal, and when it is your baby you see that sick; it gives you a whole new outlook on the illness. She, too, was restless. Though she did not leave her bed, she communicated to me, she heard me up and down all night long (that elephant was still on my chest and I couldn’t breathe).
Another incident during my visit pretty much sealed the deal that I would not relocate to Alabama. I was introduced to my cousin’s daughter. I have never seen her before in my life. When I saw her, I wanted to see him, but all I saw was Alabama’s injustice. I tried to tell myself, God is loyal and just; man is just mortal man, but my heart cried. I managed to tell her she was beautiful, but my eyes were so full of tears that the back of my head was burning. My hometown holds my heart, but it also encompasses much of my hurt.
Alabama has one of the oldest justice systems in our nation. Alabama prisons are overcrowded and borderline inhumane. There are more drug users (not dealers) in Alabama prisons than there are murderers. You get second chances for taking away a person’s life and leaving a hole in the victim’s family hearts; yet, petty crimes and first-time, non-violent offenders are sent to Maximum Security facilities. Where is the justice? Hey, if it isn’t broke, why fix it; right?
I do not HATE Alabama. Alabama is HOME! My family is in Alabama. My friends are in Alabama. When I have nothing left at all, I will always have ALABAMA. No one can say what tomorrow may bring for you nor me. Regardless of where I live, I will always be a Southern Belle; still, my life, at this moment, is in Ohio.
Every place in the world has a few negatives, but it definitely doesn't mean that a person hates it as you said. I currently live in the north and also a southern belle. :) I don't miss the heat, and a few other things, mostly political. However, there is no place like home no matter how you look at it.
ReplyDeleteWishing you positive outcomes in your treatment of sarcoidosis.
Thank you so much! It is a battle, but a battle I know I will win with God, family, friends, and great people like you, my fellow Southern Belle!
ReplyDeleteOh Yeah, I don't miss those big mosquitoes,spiders, fire ants....LOL, need I go on! I think bugs were invented in the South; yet, I dislike seeing deer year-round too :)